| when I can't sleep I write... |
[30 Nov 2005|10:19am] |
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awake |
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music |
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Apple Candy- Ben Lee |
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walking in this Sunday morning light
I am full
of the passing people
old men with faded eyes and wilting skin
slow dogs walking alongside their lovers
searching for a bit of grass in a cement world
the clang of stores waking
to the morning rush
and I am empty
with the ebb
and flow
of the separation between dark and light
And the words you whispered in my ear that
echoed through the shadows
and the night that covered reality
with a blanket made for winter nights
much colder than it was
and your touch was intentional
and I felt safe in the dark
and I could see your eyes dancing
with the strands of moonlight that crept
through the room, across the air,
through ourselves
Now I’m walking in this Sunday morning light
and everything is...
feels different
tastes different
new but bitter
because the blanket we used
was made for someone else
bringing us into a temporary world
of black sight
of black sound
of beauty...
This Sunday morning light wakes me
and it takes me back into
complication
promises
buildings and sidewalks
others to see
and the words that grazed my skin
and the flesh you touched
still echoes
still aches
still means so much (more) in the light
Lets not complicate our situations further
The sea turning to sand
The sky a queer shade of green
The stars losing their footing in the night
and us alone
In this Sunday morning light
The unexpected transition
between night and day
clings to my legs
pulling tighter with each waking step
And
I am full
of unexpected everything
bright air fills my ribs
As I push against the day
And I step down into an underground
forrest
of questions
and faces
and too many places to go
and I know
the separation of light from dark
but it still echoes
still aches
still means more
in this sunday morning light
and yet I know...
and yet I know...
the darkness hides the day
I know...
and yet I know...
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| because.... |
[12 Oct 2005|07:16am] |
generally Im feeling a sense of dissatisfaction. Im not sure what about. I feel like seeing people from home. Its nice to have those people in your life that you dont have to explain yourself/actions/thoughts/things you say because they just know why you are saying/doing/feeling that way.
I received an absolutely incredible care package from my mom...full of music, a shiny orange ring, a pair of cowboy boots, shaving cream, yummy bubble bath that smells like kiwi, and my favorite cookies ever from portland! Although Im still contemplating how to tell her that she needs to lose the loser that effectively ruined the last 5 years of my life it was still nice...
Post a comment and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.
because you know you want to! :)
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| because I like this one... |
[10 Oct 2005|10:50pm] |
iTunes Meme
3626 songs, 10.4 days, 14.77 GB
Sort by song title
First: ?Que Dices?- The Black Eyed Peas
Last: Zoot Suit Riot--Rockapellas
Sort by time
First: Four Seconds of Noise- Hot Hot Heat (00:04)
Last: 12 Moments- David Sedaris (32:30)
Sort by artist
First: 50 Cent
Last: Zizi Possi
Sort by album
First: (1 of 7) The Complete Live at the Plugged Nickel 1965- Miles Davis
Last: Yourself or Someone Like You- Matchbox 20
Earliest Added: I dont know how to find that...
Last Added: or that....:)
Top Five Most Played Songs
1. Track One- Jack Johnson (Inbetween Dreams)
2. Oh My Sweet Carolina- Ryan Adams
3. How Sweet it is to be Loved by You- James Taylor
4. Home- Michael Buble
5. Walking in Memphis- Bruce Springsteen
First song that comes up on Shuffle: On my Way- Ben Kweller
Find "sex." How many songs come up? 4
Find "death." How many song come up? 1
Find "love." How many songs come up? 314 hahaha
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[05 Oct 2005|07:30am] |
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tu me manques
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[18 Sep 2005|10:34am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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Ryan Adams |
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I saw The Pillowman last night. It was one of the most amazing plays I have ever seen! It was incredibly well written, unique and thoughtful with lots of twists and turns and left-hanging-s. Billy Crudup and Jeff Goldblum were in it as well as some other truely phenomenal people. It reminds me of why I wanted to do it all in the first place...and how terribly I really do miss it.
I think Im scared.
On to other things!
After a certain turn of events I ended up walking around the city last night alone. Please spare me all of the parental advice on the stupidity of this...I know but its how things worked out. This city is such a mizarre mix of the beautiful and the grotesque. There is trash that lines the streets, it smells like urine half the time, everything just feels dirty. But, then you walk around the corner and you see the clock tower, or the curch, or the most ornately, beautifully carved wooden trellace and you are conflicted.
I miss the stars.
I have fallen in intrigue.
Im feeling a bit....nervous....
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| I don't know if anyone reads this anymore but... |
[11 Sep 2005|11:19am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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street sounds |
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I felt the need to purge
myself and even in a city with a million and one things to purge
yourself with/on/around/through/under/etc. I find myself typing out my
feelings in this expanding box, remembering home.
New York City is hands down unlike any other place
in the world. It has its own mix of trends, linguistics, food, smells,
people, values, beliefs, everything. It definitely is NOT the west
coast...I am torn here. On one hand the city and the people in it
satisfy an urban urge that Portland inevitably couldn't, BUT, there is
so much of myself that is a hippy, hipster, portland, coffee-grabbin, tree huggin, west coaster
that I feel a little empty inside sometimes. Don't get me wrong, the
part that is great and awakens in my soul a part that I've wanted to
explore for a long time is wonderful, amazing, diverse, artistic...but
the part that is left over makes me miss home and the people in it
terribly. I have found my niche,
so to speak, with two of my four roommates and our next door neighbor.
We are a "quadpod". And while I have found myself truly and deeply
loving this experience and gaining so much from it, I think I need to
find that hippy, hipster, portland, coffee-grabbin, tree huggin, west
coaster to really complete my life here in New York. but, its only the
first two weeks, right? i have time to find her/him/them/it. that is
all for now. maybe I'll start using this more...its a good way to let
go of...emotions...when you don't have a coffee grabbin' friend close by to work all of this stuff out with.
much love and peace,
Claire
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| I know I don't do this EVER! but..... |
[19 Jul 2005|08:17am] |
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HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY GINA!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS QUITE THE "19" DAY YOU LUCKY DUCK, YOU!
.....ISN'T IT TIME YOU ASKED ABOUT PREMARIN? :)
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[01 Jun 2005|01:42am] |
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that was GELSEY!!!!
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[18 May 2005|03:57pm] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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music |
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violent femmes |
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I've been thinking about "lasts" lately. last show, last bevins, last day of school, last class, last hour, last minute, last hug, last breath in this place as a student, a part of this cycle of changing vibes. I have spent much of my high school life wishing I wasn't in it, or at least saying...well...screaming....that sentiment. But, looking back on it, I think I really did enjoy those simple moments when we all just sat and talked and our lives developed like a picture in the darkroom, slowly turning from a blank piece of glossy paper to shades of black and white, with emotion and density and contrast. This is where we found much of ourselves. We experimented...with tastes, relationships, friends, sexuality, family dymanic, ourselves. I know this is the beginning of the hypothetical "journey down the winding road" but it feels like we've come pretty far too...I have made relationships that I hope will last but I know most won't. that's hard. sad. frustrating. I have always wanted to hold on till the last moment, savoring the possibility that things just might stay as they are. Or not as they are...but together none the less. I'm excited for this summer...continuing this chapter of my life and transitioning into a new one, spending time with the people I care about. I'm excited for everything to come...party on!
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[15 May 2005|01:54am] |
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mood |
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determined |
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music |
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a little James Taylor action |
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EVERYONE!
So I'm doing an article on Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol. If anyone has any opinions/comments on those subjects please email me at Tinkerbell053@aol.com and everything will be anonymous so...ya...no worries! I need people experiences (or non experiences) in high school...why they have chosen to partake or not partake is such activities...advice...any opinions on the subject! basically, if you have anything to say on any of those topics you should email me :) so ya...please do it!
gracias!
Claire
yearbook co-editor-in-chief
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[21 Apr 2005|10:14pm] |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW FOREMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO....18....STRIP CLUBS? PORN? CIGS? OR MAYBE JUST A TRIP AROUND THE WORLD!
PS I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY I DIDN'T SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEFORE...I'VE BEEN IN A HAAAAAAAAZE FROM PJ GAME....LO SIENTO! (THE LITTLE SPANISH I KNOW)
ANYHOO! MUCH LOVE!!! i'LL BAKE YOU MORE COOKIES :)
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| gas prices suck! |
[15 Apr 2005|09:47am] |
NO MORE EXXON OR MOBILE *PLEASE REPOST
we'll try anything that might move the price of fuel
back down toward $1.50. Hope you will try this too.
Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close to $3.00 a gallon
by the summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down?
We need to take some intelligent, united action.
Phillip Hollsworth, offered this good idea: This makes MUCH MORE
SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that was
going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at
that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by
refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it
was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come
up with a plan that can really work.
Please read it and join with us! By now you're probably thinking
gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is
currently $2.09 for regular unleaded in my town. Now that the oil
companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the
cost! of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50- $1.75, we need to take
aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the
marketplace....not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more
each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are
going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the
pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And we can do that WITHOUT
hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just
stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all
act together to force a price war.
Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY
gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON
and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to
reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies
will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach
literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple
to do!! Now, don't whimp out on me at this point...keep reading and
I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I am sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it
to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at
least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)....and so on, by the time the
message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached
over THREE MILLION consumers. If those three million get excited and
! pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have
been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it.....
THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!
Again, all You have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all. (If
you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to
do is send this to 10 people.... Well, let's face it, you just
aren't a mathematician. But I am .... so trust me on this one.)
How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to
ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people
could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet
you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting
together we can make a difference.
If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. PLEASE HOLD
OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM
DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
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| hehehe |
[11 Mar 2005|07:14pm] |
| How to make a tinkerbell053 |
Ingredients:
1 part anger
5 parts courage
5 parts joy |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of curiosity |
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[07 Mar 2005|01:04am] |
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writing random poetry is a good way to purge...even if its about things that happened so long ago...:) I had a fun weekend. a little "up and down" but it's all good. thanks to everyone who I hung out with this weekend that reaffirmed why I have such awesome friends...for those of you I didn't see...well...bitches come! I need to see you!
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[07 Mar 2005|12:08am] |
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contemplative |
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music |
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i'd like to visit you for a while... |
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Let us walk down the path
An ever-changing beaten road
Full of promises and tomorrows
Dry leaves and broken twigs
Let us walk down the path
As I let myself
fall into the translucent
power of this...
I have found...
Our eyes are different
The right is not the left
The ocean is not the sky
And our road
Has never been the same
In the center
A hand to hold
A moment
Of possibility
But our footsteps are soft
We tread lightly
And the difference in rhythm
Is undeniable
Down the path
Waits the ocean
Waits the sky
The right the left
Alone I must wait
Until our eyes
Contain the same vision
A mystical oneness
That seems unreachable
In the center
A hand to hold
A midnight conversation
A moment of…
But you are focused
On the path of destiny
The right
The sky
Let us walk down the path
An ever-changing beaten road
Full of promises and tomorrows
Dry leaves and broken twigs
Let us walk down the path
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[01 Mar 2005|02:58am] |
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mood |
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delirious |
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music |
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you don't even want to know |
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sometimes you've just gotta say....
FUCK IT!
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| unusually and exceedingly peculiar and quite impossible to describe |
[17 Feb 2005|01:58am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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wicked |
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so tired! I can barely keep my eyes open. BUT, if I do fall asleep I will only be able to sleep for a few hours. And, in reality, I will probably just sleep through my alarm and miss my meeting. Quite the perdicament! Oh well, max and calculus are keeping me company!
60 DAYS LEFT!
WE CAN DO IT!
-Claire
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| a day like any other |
[06 Feb 2005|10:31pm] |
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music |
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norah jones- humble me |
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| C | Courageous | | L | Lively | | A | Arty | | I | Inspirational | | R | Revolutionary | | E | Excellent |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
went out on a limb
gone too far
broke down at the side of the road
stranded at the outskirts
and the sun's creepin up
baby's in the back seat
still fast asleep
dreamin of better days
don't want to call you
but you're all I have to turn to
what do you say when it's all gone away
baby I didn't mean to hurt you
truth spoke in whispers
will tear you apart
no matter how hard you resist it
it never rains when you want it to
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| so anyway |
[20 Jan 2005|07:59am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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nick drake- river man |
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as of this very moment things seem managable. I know that in the next half an hour, though, something will happen to start the cycle all over again.
this year is weird for me. an odd ebb and flow. it seems as if I have been in this rabbit hole for....well...ever and it doesn't seem like I will be finding the light anytime soon. but, there are only 78 days left. and that scares me.
with all of the piss and vinegar we spout about this place I will miss it. it has been a temple of transformation, adolescence to a sort of pseudo-adultness. I have been feeling this change a lot lately...a view of the world, teachers, freshman, that is from a different angle. before I was looking up at the top of the mountain wondering what the view was like and now that I'm here, looking down at the grass below, the view is...different than I expected.
why can't we fast forward a few months...or maybe we need to rewind...or just record it all over again so we can pick it up sometime and remember all of it.
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